Posted by Dave on 09/07/06 at 10:15:31 am
Categories: Personal Ravings

Life has been interesting lately...

I am currently toiling in a job that I dislike simply to make money. I work everyday until 9:00 at night, arriving home when my wife is almost ready to go to sleep.

I have certain passions and gifts that are simply not being used. You know what my passions are - I write about them every day. In that sense they are being used, but not in the way that I want.

I am passionate about Jesus. I am passionate about justice and equality. I am passionate about bringing attention to the unjust and unequal society that we live in. I am passionate about ending the death penalty in the United States and around the world. I am passionate about ending the inequality that exists between men and women, rich and poor, white and everyone else, educated and uneducated, and so many other things. As a follower of Jesus I believe that we are called to act for justice. Read the prophets, read the gospels. The entire Bible talks about the "least of these" that we are called to serve. And we not only should, but we must respond to that command.

I also have a strong desire to use the gifts and talents that I have been blessed with. We all have different abilities, and we all are good at different things. And while I have been fairly content with my tutoring abilities, I do not believe that I am using my abilities to their fullest. I want something more...

Yet I am not sure how to do this.

My dream would be to have a job that I could combine my passions and abilities while still making money. Yes...it goes back to money. And I hate that it goes back to money. But family complicates a lot of things. What does it mean to be secure? How does one afford a family (i.e. husband, wife, kids) and a house and work in a social justice job? And how does someone like me find a job that I am passionate about that can also enable my family to do the things that it wants.

I know what I want to do...I want to go to law school and become a public defender. But has anyone looked recently at the pay gap between what public defenders get paid and every other lawyer? Many lawyers have a salary in their first year that would cover their law school tuition. Of course, few, if any, can send all of their income to pay for loans, but you understand what I mean. Public defenders, on the other hand, would have to work twice as long to pay off their tuition. And that really pisses me off.

Why is it that I see a need that I cannot meet because of financial limitations? Why is it that our society things more of corporate lawyers (as evidenced by the pay granted to them) than those that work with the poor?

So this leaves me in a quandary, doesn’t it? What the hell do I do with my life? Or how about a slightly less daunting question - what the hell do I do right now?

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